Saturday, 25 October 2014

JoLa - A Farewell Tribute

I don't reckon Dolly Parton takes all that much interest in Scottish politics, but if she did her reaction to Johann Lamont's departure as manager of Labour's Scottish branch office might go something like this. Those of a musical bent who know the tune are welcome to sing it heartily.

JoLa, JoLa, JoLa, JoLa
I’m begging of you, please don’t step aside
JoLa, JoLa, JoLa, JoLa
Stay and watch your party’s prospects slide

Succeeding hapless Iain Gray
You thought they’d let you have your way
But that’s not in their DNA

They used you as a junior clerk
For policies out of the Ark
Dictated from Jurassic Park

It surely must have got your goat
Transcribing on a Post-It Note
The devo plans that Ed Balls wrote

Your face on Newsnight turning blue
Explaining what those powers would do
But you never had the slightest clue

JoLa, JoLa, JoLa, JoLa
I’m begging of you, please don’t walk the plank
JoLa, JoLa, JoLa, JoLa
Stay and watch those polling numbers tank

Though you were just a marionette
Your attributes we’ll not forget
In nightmares drenched with icy sweat

Your overblown debating skills
Your filthy looks that gave us chills
Your leaden jokes, like poison pills

Your stunning lack of bonhomie,
Your hatred of the SNP,
Your weird insistence things were wee

Your constant tinny little sneer
Dismissing hope and spreading fear
As Tories gathered round to cheer

JoLa, JoLa, JoLa, JoLa
I’m begging of you, don’t call it a day
JoLa, JoLa, JoLa, JoLa...

Stay and watch while we make Labour pay.


  1. Brilliant! Love it! All sing along now ...... wouldn't that be great at Freedom Square?

  2. As a certain antipodean may have sang, I can't get it out o mah head.

  3. The Queen of Discouragement, spouting wee batches of sidesplitting drivel from her broken lavvy seat, with her face busy squeezing lemons.
    Please upload your song/poem on YouTube, with clips of her Parliamentary performances it will be a sensation. Love it.