A Song for Volkswagen

If Dionne Warwick were on her way to San Jose, and looking for directions, I wonder if she'd be driving a Volkswagen?

Do you know the way to prove you’re “green”

Though all your cars emit

Poisonous shit that’s quite obscene?

Do you know the way to beat the rest?

We’ve got a cool device

Churning out lies to pass the test

All the folks who drive our wagons

Put a hundred down and fill the tank

Leaving us laughing all the way to the bank

They believe their motor’s running clear

But there’s no doubt that all about

They’re stinking out the atmosphere

We’ve won praise for fighting climate change

Even though our output

Does not compute – now ain’t that strange?

With anomalies the data’s rife

Making sure things look fab

When in the lab, unlike real life

Competition’s such a rat race

Loads of smart technicians everywhere

If you stick to the truth you don’t have a prayer

Only losers prize integrity

But if you’re bold, the fibs you’ve told

Will make shareholders squeal with glee

Have you heard? We’ve made the headline news

That’s not the worst part yet:

The internet has blown a fuse

Someone blew the whistle on our game

Blabbed to the EPA

Who, sad to say, got all inflamed

Now our shares are in the toilet

Horrified investors going nuts

Contemplate nasty things they’ll do with our guts

Lawyers with smart lifestyles to sustain

With one accord

Say “Praise the Lord!”

And promptly order in champagne

What’s the news of Martin Winterkorn?

Woe, woe, woe, woe, woe, woe, woe, woe, woe

Does he curse the day that he was born?

Woe, woe, woe, woe, woe, woe, woe, woe, woe

Do you think we might escape some blame

Woe, woe, woe, woe, woe, woe, woe, woe, woe

If everyone’s been doing the bleedin’ same?

Woe, woe, woe, woe, woe, woe, woe, woe, woe….

Whoa.